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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27887416">Tension</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wholocker78218/pseuds/wholocker78218'>wholocker78218</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>25 Days of Christmas [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Resolved Sexual Tension, Smut, Tension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:01:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,201</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27887416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wholocker78218/pseuds/wholocker78218</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There has been tension building between Olivia and Rafael for sometime, its about time it was resolved.</p><p>Day 4 of 25 days of Christmas.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>25 Days of Christmas [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036830</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tension</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjbloomfield/gifts">cjbloomfield</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Requests are open for the next 21 days, I write for Barson, Bangan, Barisi and potentially other Rafael Barba ships (even other Raúl Esparza characters too), just talk to me on asks or private messages.</p><p>@angelicdestieldemon</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It started with the beard, he’d been gone for a week and when he came back, he had a beard. The most Olivia had ever seen him with was stubble and even then, it had been gone the next day, but now he has a beard, a full beard of dark hair with more prominent grey hairs than he ever usually let show. It should have made him look older, but it was attractive, and Olivia knows she shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts, Rafael is her best friend, her confidant. But every time she sees him it’s like a switch has been flicked and all she can think about is the beard, how soft it is; how thick; how it would feel against her skin, her face, her chest. And then she realises what she’s doing, and she feels guilty for reducing him to some sexual object of her desire, but it won’t stop. It’s not that he was unattractive before, Olivia has always felt a draw towards him, whether it be his confidence; his intelligence and quick wit; that smile he sends her way sometimes when he knows he’s impressed her. All of those things have sent a thrill up her spine. And then he grows a beard and all of a sudden that thrill has been sent in the opposite direction, it’s getting distracting.</p><p> </p><p>The first day she saw the beard, her mind had gone entirely blank, she could see he was speaking but heard none of it. Her mind frantically trying to process his appearance, the only good thing about the interaction was her ability to refrain from reaching out to touch him, when she finally came back to herself, he was smiling at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Were you saying something?” Internally all she could do was weep in embarrassment hoping that she wasn’t too obvious in her lusting over a man she should not be thinking those kinds of thoughts about.</p><p> </p><p>“Mouth closed, Benson, or you’ll be catching flies,” she sees him reach out as if to close her mouth for her, but he diverts at the last second and instead pulls away a stray hair that has connected itself to her lipgloss.</p><p> </p><p>She appreciates the gesture but can’t help feeling disappointed that she doesn’t get to experience the sensation of his hands on her skin. Hell, it wouldn’t even be the first time, he’s wiped away her tears, hugged her when she needed it and held her hand when she needed his support. His touch made her feel good, but not entirely in a sexual way, in a way that she associated him with being safe, a feeling of warmth and care… home. He feels like home. That feeling is still there but maybe it’s because she hasn’t been with anyone in so long but everything about him is clouded in a red-hot desire to feel him, really <em>feel</em> him.</p><p> </p><p>Even now, sitting at her desk, attempting to get through the paperwork that piled up during their last case – she’s thinking of him, his hair showing more and more grey, the beard only drawing more attention to it. The pure masculinity of it paired with a pink shirt and tie, telling everyone where they can shove their stereotypical views of masculinity and colours. Everything about him is screaming at her to do something, to do what she’s been stopping herself from doing for all these years. And it’s getting worse, every time she lays eyes on him: that pull is a little bit stronger, every grin he shoots her way makes her stomach drop, each touch making her suddenly feel she can’t breathe or speak or think of anything but him.</p><p> </p><p>And with that, she needs to go home, clearly, she isn’t going to be getting any more work done tonight, Noah is with Lucy giving her a night to herself and after all the frustration she has been feeling it might be time to make use of the privacy.</p><p> </p><p>“Going home?” God hates her, that’s the only explanation for why she is being put through this, she doesn’t want to, but Olivia looks up anyway, a reflex for the sound of his voice.</p><p> </p><p>It’s all she can do not to scream, his tie is gone, the top two buttons of his shirt undone, and his hair looks like his hands have been through it one too many times. In other words, perfect material for when she gets home if only, she didn’t feel so guilty about it.</p><p> </p><p>“That was the plan, unless you have something for me,” Poor, poor wording that is not helping her frustration.</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, I was wondering if you want to grab a drink, it’s been a while since we last caught up?” He asks, his voice hopeful, leaning against the door looking like a walking wet dream.</p><p> </p><p><em>Stop it. </em>She wants to scream at herself, the frustration eating her alive, making her skin tingle. But as much as she wants to just walk over and grab him, she has missed just talking to him, with Rafael, the conversation comes easy, he makes her laugh, makes it as easy to be vulnerable as it is to be happy. Standing there with that hopeful gleam in his eyes, Olivia can’t say no to him, and despite the mess that she is at the moment concerning him, she doesn’t want to.</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds perfect,” she smiles at him and dammit, he’s grinning back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Forlini’s is packed when they arrive, which is unsurprising as it is a Friday night on the lead up to Christmas, that doesn’t make it any less irritating. Luckily, however, the staff recognise them as regulars, and they are able to find a booth just big enough for the two of them towards the back. The table is pushed into the corner of the booth, a small round thing making them sit closer than normal, their thighs pressed almost obscenely together, and Olivia is cursing every deity she can think of for torturing her like this. The lighting is dimmer and as they are at the back of the bar, there is an illusion of privacy in the otherwise busy bar.</p><p> </p><p>They order their drinks, a glass of wine for Olivia and scotch for Rafael, and she feels comfort in the normalcy that provides. The noise level in the bar making them have to lean in to be heard.</p><p> </p><p>“How’s Noah?” He asks, and she sighs in relief, Noah is a safe topic.</p><p> </p><p>She ignores the way he moves his arm to rest on the booth behind her head, allowing him to lean in closer as he listens to her.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s good, staying with Lucy tonight, giving me a night off, which I think is needed. He gets so worked up at this time of year and as much as I love to see him so excited, I do need a night off from baking gingerbread until all the counters are covered in icing and gumdrops.”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael smiles and huffs out a laugh, and she relaxes into him, everywhere they are touching, thigh’s, his arm around her is warm and if she pushes a little more against him, he doesn’t mention it. And they continue to talk, about Noah, and his mother and the squad. She pushes him to talk about Carisi and how proud he is of the detective turned lawyer, although he’ll never say it out loud: she reassures him Carisi knows.</p><p> </p><p>For her own sake, she drinks water after her first glass of wine, not trusting herself to refrain from doing something stupid, like kissing him. And there she goes again. She takes another sip of the water, before catching a glance at his watch, he must see her expression change because he too looks at his watch and realises how late it has gotten.</p><p> </p><p>“I think it’s home time,” he grins at her, but she can see the tiredness in his expression, it has been a long week for all of them.</p><p> </p><p>He helps her put her jacket on, and before she can do it herself, she feels his fingers trail across her neck untucking hair trapped inside the coat. Once again, the skin is on fire, the trail he leaves behind shooting electricity down every nerve in her body. Rafael disappears to pay their tab before she can stop him and she waits outside, hoping the cold will help her cool down. After a few minutes he joins her and they begin the walk back to her apartment, they walk in a comfortable silence their arms brushing occasionally. In a moment of insanity, she hooks her arm through his and he pulls her closer, closing any reasonable gap between them until they are walking side-by-side down the street.</p><p> </p><p>The walk is both too short and too long, her brain is running a thousand miles an hour, furiously trying to think of how this night will end, either way, she can see herself in bed with him: only one option he is entirely in her head and the other in her arms. Try as she might, she’s not sure which version she would prefer. Her head is telling her not to risk losing what they have, her heart is telling her to let herself be happy.</p><p> </p><p>She’s not naïve, she sees the way he looks at her, not just with desire although there has been plenty of that tonight, but that look of love, of care. He wants to see her happy, she sees his heart break when hers does. She remembers how he looked when he found out about her and Tucker, the devastation on his face was clear to see and she never wants to see him look like that again. He loves her, as much as she loves him; wants hers as much as she does.</p><p> </p><p>Head or heart, she doesn’t want to get this wrong.</p><p> </p><p>They arrive at the door of her building and her body is so tense she feels like she might snap. He turns to face her without releasing her arm from his, they are close enough that she can feel the heat from his breath brushing across her skin, goosebumps making the hairs on her neck and arms stand straight.</p><p> </p><p>Rafael opens his mouth and then shuts it, re-thinking what he was going to say, and then his hooded eyes meet hers before trailing down to her lips and she can’t breathe. She can see him getting closer and her pulse is racing, this is it.</p><p> </p><p>Her phone rings, cutting the air and it's over. He’s still so close but stagnant, they both know she can’t ignore her phone when it's ringing this late, whoever it is, it’s an emergency. He pulls away, a smile on his face but it's neutral, there’s warmth in his eyes but they both know <em>their </em>night has reached its end.</p><p> </p><p>“Benson?” She answers the phone, an apologetic smile on her face.</p><p> </p><p>He squeezes her hip in response before pulling away, and it shouldn’t make much difference but without him, she feels cold. He watches her while she listens and the heat in his gaze makes her look away.</p><p> </p><p>When she ends the call, she shoots him another apologetic smile, “I’ve got to go back in, a girl has come in wanting to make a disclosure and she’s asked for me by name.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are they sending a car for you or do you want me to call you one?”</p><p> </p><p>She wants to kiss him, for understanding, for caring. She shakes her head, “They’re sending one for me. You can head home though; they won’t be long.”</p><p> </p><p>“And leave you standing outside, alone, in the cold, at this time of night? What kind of friend would I be?” He teases, and knocks his elbow against hers, settling in to wait.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>At first, she thinks it’s a fluke. The moment before <em>they</em> finally happen, and they get interrupted, until it keeps happening. They spend a lot of time together over the latest case, the girl being the daughter of a woman she once helped when she was a detective, she wants to cry that both mother and daughter are victims to men who refused to take no for an answer. Many late nights she spends in her office, Rafael’s arms around her, consoling her when she would rather be doing anything else but cry. It’s supposed to be a happy time, December, every morning she wakes up to Noah’s smiling face and she’s happy with him, she smiles when he does and enjoys the time with him she can manage before she goes to work and remembers the case her team are working on. Luckily for the girl, Alicia, they are able to apprehend the man responsible, the evidence they were able to collect making the man’s lawyer not even try to argue, its an easy case, if you could even use the word easy. Either way, Barba gets a plea, the man going to prison for a long time, and Alicia will never have to see him or worry about him again.</p><p> </p><p>But it’s not until the Christmas party that she sees Rafael outside of the case. She wasn’t expecting him to come, these things aren’t usually his favourite place to be but when she opens her door and sees him standing there, a bottle of wine in his hand, in a suit that makes her mouth go dry she knows he wasn’t going to miss a chance to see her.</p><p> </p><p>It’s just her squad and Rafael, Noah spending the night at Amanda’s with her sitter and kids. Allowing both mothers’ to be able to relax, have a drink and enjoy the festivities. The Christmas lights she and Noah put up along the walls give the room a nice ambience, the drinks are flowing, and Olivia feels herself smiling properly for the first time since that <em>almost</em> night with Rafael.</p><p> </p><p>The two of them sit on the couch, closer than they should be considering their company but she can’t bring herself to care. She can feel the heat of him against her side and she leans into him regardless of the looks she can see Amanda shooting at her. One by one they leave, Amanda first whispering to Liv (smirk prominent on her face) that it’s very late so Noah can just stay the night instead of being brought over by the babysitter like they had originally agreed. Fin and Carisi heading out at the same time, she also ignores the sly looks they give her. Honestly, she wonders how old they are sometimes.</p><p> </p><p>And then they are alone.</p><p> </p><p>When she returns to the living room Rafael is gone, as are the glasses the others left behind. Walking over to the kitchen she sees him washing the glasses, his sleeves rolled up the sight of his strong forearms is enough to heat the simmer in her stomach that has been building since she opened the door to him. She watches him while he finishes up, her eyes sliding from his strong arms to his broad shoulders, highlighted by the suspenders he insists on wearing, unaware of the effect it has on her. By the time she gets to his ass, she can feel the tension in her, her hands itching to just walk over and grab him like she’s being dreaming and fantasising over for years.</p><p> </p><p>He dries his hands and turns to face her, his eyes burning a trail from her legs up her body until their eyes meet, and the look on his face is one she will never forget. His eyes are darker than she has ever seen on him and they're filled with one thing, pure desire, for her.</p><p> </p><p>And she can’t wait any more, so she doesn’t.</p><p> </p><p>In two strides she’s across the room, her hands are on his shoulders and she’s kissing him, finally, after all this time. And he’s kissing her back, his hands grab her waist and pull her against him until there is no more space between them. All Olivia can think of is him, the taste of his tongue as it slides across hers in a sensual, satisfying way. The way Rafael kisses her is confident but explorative, he focuses on her reactions, every gasp she makes telling him what she likes. Just when she feels like she can’t breathe he pulls away, long enough to recover before he’s back and she’s melting into him again.</p><p> </p><p>The heat of him against her body reassures her that this is real, he is real, this isn’t some dream she is going to wake up from or some fantasy that will end when she climaxes.</p><p> </p><p>He walks her backwards to the wall and she appreciates the support it provides as the feeling of his beard brushing along her skin as he trails hot kisses down her neck makes her knees go weak. The urge to feel him becomes overwhelming as he bites her neck and soothes it with his tongue. Her nails scratch down his back and even through the material of his shirt she feels how affected he is, his hips pressing harder against her.</p><p> </p><p>Grabbing his shirt, she pulls until it's free from his trousers and her fingers make quick work of the buttons before his mouth is back on hers leaving her breathless and desperate for everything, he can give her.</p><p> </p><p>The fire inside her is burning hotter and hotter by the second and Olivia is so consumed by everything she’s feeling that suddenly she’s falling on to her bed. Her breaths are coming quickly and the sight before her is enough to make her rub her thighs together in an attempt to relieve the ache she can no longer ignore.</p><p> </p><p>His hair is a mess, she can’t remember when she did that but it’s clear it was her doing, his shirt is open, and Rafael is pushing the suspenders off his shoulders in a way that excites her beyond comprehension. Wanting to feel his skin against hers, she sits up to pull her shirt over her head and throw it to the floor, her bra following.</p><p> </p><p>She looks back up at him, and his eyes burn into hers, she expects him to look down to her breasts, but his eyes hold hers as he leans down and kisses her breathless all over again.</p><p> </p><p>“Is this ok?” He asks, and her heart soars. She wraps her arms around him and pulls him, so they’re flush against each other once more.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m done holding back, I want you, all of you and if you’re not ready that’s fine but don’t hold back on my account.”</p><p> </p><p>He kisses her again and she can feel the difference, ge trails wet kisses down her neck to the valley between her breasts. The movement slow but sure, as though he is savouring every moment with her.</p><p> </p><p>This time when her hands reach her hair, she can feel the soft strands and when she pulls, she can feel the moan he lets out, so she does it again. He latches on to her nipple, sucking and biting it until it’s hard before blowing cool air making her arch her back into his touch. He repeats the process on the other side until she’s begging him, for what she doesn’t know, all Olivia can think about is she wants more of whatever he will give her.</p><p> </p><p>She groans when he pulls away but stops when she sees him taking off his trousers and boxers and is about to follow his lead when he takes her hands away from the button on her jeans and places them back on his shoulders. He catches her eyes as he kisses down the skin of her stomach to her navel and the softness of the gesture makes the burning inside her feel like butterflies. And she knows that this isn’t just sex to him, this is as much to him as it is to her and she smooths her hands along the skin of his neck to stroke across his jaw and lips, he nips the pad of her thumb and she laughs.</p><p> </p><p>He unbuttons her jeans and pulls the zip down; every inch of skin he reveals he kisses. He pulls the jeans down her legs and off, her underwear following quickly and finally they are bare to one another. Rafael pushes apart her thighs and kisses his way down one leg, the anticipation is unbearable, his beard creating the most incredible sensation, the roughness of the hair in contrast with the softness of his lips and tongue. She can feel the heat of his breath along her centre and then it’s gone and he’s starting again on the other leg, she wants to grab him and put his mouth where she wants it but the feeling of his lips worshipping every inch of her body is overriding her every impulse.</p><p> </p><p>But this time when he reaches her, he doesn’t move away at the last second, his mouth is on her and her hips snap up into the heat of his mouth. His forearms come up to hold her hips down and she can see the bulging veins as he pins her hips to the bed.</p><p> </p><p>The sensation of his lips and tongue are relentless in making the coil inside of her build and build until it snaps and every nerve ending on her body is on fire, Olivia’s eyes slam shut, and she sees stars as she rides out the feeling, his mouth never stopping its stimulation. The beard is everything she knew it would be, the skin of her thighs feels sensitive in the best way. When she can’t take anymore, she tugs on his hair and feels the moan rip from his throat.</p><p> </p><p>She pulls him up along her body and kisses him, the taste of herself on his lips and tongue is intoxicating and she loses herself in the taste until the weight of his length brushes her thigh, and she feels guilty for not giving him the same attention he gave her.</p><p> </p><p>Wrapping her arms around him she rolls them over, straddling his hips, and she can feel his length pressing along her centre in a way that makes the momentary relief of her orgasm begin to burn again. But the way he is looking at her makes her pause, he must see her hesitation because he smiles and sits up to kiss her.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t stop, please, just take it slow, I want this to last,” he whispers and clutches her to him.</p><p> </p><p>She understands him completely. This is their first time, she doesn’t want to remember it as some frantic sex one night in December. He doesn’t want that memory either, he wants to make love to her, here and now, when they have the chance to go slow without the constant fear of being interrupted. So, she kisses him and lifts herself up on to her knees her arms locked around his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>He helps her get into the right position before she slowly lowers herself on to him, and it feels so right, the length of him stretching her more than she expected and when she finally reaches the bottom she has to stop and breathe. All the while Rafael is laying soft kisses along her neck and collarbone, his hands stroking her back, soothing her until she’s ready to continue.</p><p> </p><p>And then she starts to move, slow but sure movements, guiding them towards release, she takes her time, letting the feeling build, focusing on the sensation of him inside her, and the gentle touches of his hands and lips. She can feel an ache begin in her thighs, but she ignores it as the coil inside her begins to tighten once more. She buries her face in his neck, latching on to the soft skin, biting and kissing, tasting the sweat as he begins to lose control. She can feel his hands gripping her waist, helping her roll her hips against his, the speed building, the two of them moving in sync. She can feel herself on the edge, and she moves faster trying to push herself over the cliff but it’s not enough. Olivia is about to slide her hand down her front when she hears him. Groaning words into her chest, the words ‘I love you’ again and again and again. And then she snaps, waves of pleasure rolling over her until she all she can see is white. Rafael follows her over the edge and the feeling of him finishing inside of her sends another wave of pleasure across her nerves.</p><p> </p><p>They ride out the feeling together until they’re collapsing back on to the bed, their arms around each other, their breathing only just starting to return to normal. Olivia knows they should get up and clean up, but she doesn't want to leave the warmth of his body against hers, so she grabs the blanket off the bottom of the bed and pulls it over them both, burying her head in his neck. He kisses her hair.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you, Rafa.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you, Liv.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed, I appreciate everyone who reads my work even if you dont leave kudos or comments I appreciate you taking the time. Have a wonderful Christmas however you celebrate (or don't celebrate)!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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